daily-ish notes…

  • on class.

    Seven weeks into an eight week class I feel a lot of things, but I think it’s best summed up with a description of a graph.

    The Confidence versus Knowledge graph, they say, is like a curve with a deep dip in the middle.

    At the start, when knowledge is (greater than zero but still) low, confidence is high. You know enough to do something that’s okay and you occasionally stumble into something better than okay, and you feel like you know a lot more than when you started, and even a little bit of knowledge is a lot more than zero knowledge.

    Confidence is equally high at the other end of the knowledge plot. When you know a lot, you know that you know a lot, and while you may be modest about it ultimately you have the confidence that comes from knowing what you know and being good at what you’re no long just trying to do, but actually doing.

    In the middle, tho, where knowledge is growing and getting more robust and deeper and broader and better, your confidence dips. You start to realize that as much as you know there is still so much more to learn and practice and improve upon. You do good work but you realize where the gaps are and the work that it will take to overcome and fill those gaps.

    Taking a class has moved me firmly into the middle of that graph. I know I am improving. I know that I’ve learned a lot. But my confidence has taken a nosedive into the valley of knowing that I have a lot to learn yet.

    (In other words, if you are wondering why I haven’t written much lately, maybe it has something to do with confidence…?)

  • in defence of breaks.

    Even routine needs to be broken occasionally.

    I’ve been training for a marathon for the last three months. I started training eight months before the actual race because I’d been injured and while I wasn’t (strictly speaking) starting from scratch, I was pretty much starting over in my running career. So I’ve spent about three months building.

    And then this week I took a break. I skipped two runs. Why? Because, life. Because we were having some new carpet installed and I needed to move furniture for three days straight. Because there are forest fires a few hundred kilometers away and the air is brown here. Because my legs are tired. Because I wanted to. Because.

    I was writing here daily for about a month and a half and then I abruptly stopped.

    Why? Because. Because sometimes routines need to be broken, and occasionally one just needs to stop and readjust. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

  • on brushing up.

    Over the last few years of trying to teach myself to urban sketch and dabble in watercolour, I’ve bought a good assortment of brushes. Not good brushes. Economical brushes to align with my learning status.

    I had to go to the art store this evening with a supply list for the painting class I registered in. One of the items on the list was brushes. Good brushes. Artist brushes to align with the quality of painting I expect we’ll aspire towards.

    I now have three good brushes that together likely cost more than than thirty cheap brushes I’ve been using since I started this watercolour adventure. For all my words on skill versus equipment, there is some advantage to using good brushes, good paints and good paper. I suspect I’m about to get a solid lesson in just that.

  • on instruction.

    I took a three hour watercolour class at the local community centre this afternoon. We painted a sunset behind the mountains.

    It never hurts to spend any time as a student, no matter how much skill you think you have. There is always something to be learned from another person, a skill or a tip or an insight to be gleaned.

    I learned about half a dozen interesting tidbits, from little techniques about applying paint, to some colour theory, to a short list of other clever tools I’ll apply in my next few paintings… and beyond.

    In fact, the question is not whether I learned anything but when am I planning on taking my next class?

  • on not drawing.

    I’m taking a deserved day off. I’ve been drawing every day for the whole month of March and (with some family stuff happening today) I need a day to catch my breath. The break will be short-lived, of course, because (a) it’s basically spring now and I can start to see the trees budding and the bugs emerging and the colours replacing the white of the winter snow and (b) I’m registered in a watercolour class tomorrow afternoon and I’m sure I’ll spend about three hours with a paintbrush in hand there.